There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
