So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
