I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
