Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
