Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
