Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
