I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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