No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
