"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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