I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
