Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
