I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
