capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
