are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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