Kiss
Puke
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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