We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
