He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
