when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize