He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
