So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize