I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
