I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
