I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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