So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
bring money and cleavage
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
