There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
