Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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