Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
