I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
