i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
