Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
