eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
