Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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