If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
