I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Floor bacon is actually really good
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
