I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
