id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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