going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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