I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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