Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
