adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
