Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize