just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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