Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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