was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
