my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
