hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
