Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
