he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
