Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
