I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
