why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
