I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
