I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
