FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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