Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
