We're facebook friends in real life
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
