I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
