if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
