I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
