He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
