I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
