What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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